A Boring Marriage: Cause of Infidelity
From many of the counseling I have done over the years, the issue of a boring marriage always crops up. Understand that a boring, unexciting and redundant marriage, where there is nothing new but just routine, can lead to a quest for extra-marital affairs.
You must understand that men often want to have a feeling of their childhood as frequently as possible. They want to play, tease and have someone make them feel young at heart.
For instance, an elderly man with grey hair would still feel like playing some football every now and then, It therefore becomes stifling when the marriage lacks fun and excitement.
Women also love to be pampered and wooed. They love to hear how beautiful they are, how satisfactory she is, etc. If you deny her of such words, some other person would shower her with them— which is a major cause of infidelity.
The solution? CONCIOUSLY bring back the youthfulness, joy, merriment and playfulness of your youth into your marriage.
Check out this exciting story:
“And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.”
Genesis 26:8 KJV
Isaac as a mature man, with grown up children (Esau and Jacob) who were old enough to trade their birthrights (in chapter 25 of the book of Genesis) was sporting with his wife Rebecca. Sporting meant that they were joking, playing, mocking, teasing and laughing with each other.
The word in the original Hebrew used for ‘wife’ in the story above is ‘ashiym’ as opposed to ‘isa’ that is a word used for a woman in the same wide sense as an adulteress. This implies that, there is a general playful way that adulteresses behave which most married women refuse to adopt.
My Counsel to women: Dear Sister, stop being so rigid and archaic. You are not his mother. Be his wife, be his friend, be his companion, be his girlfriend, then he won’t look for another girlfriend outside.
Dear Husband: Don’t let another man shower words of admiration, love and praises on your wife than you do. Let her know that you love, admire, appreciate and regard her. Don’t talk down at her. Don’t make her feel miserable, unwanted, unloved and insignificant.
In conclusion, refuse to have a marriage where you just wake up in the morning, eat food, go to work, get back home, go to bed, and then begin the same routine the next day. Start shielding your marriage against extra marital affairs by being more enticing, inviting, exciting, excitable and excited!